Do you really miss the past, or the self that can never go back?

Have you ever had such a moment?

• One day in a milk tea shop on the corner, I heard a familiar old song, and suddenly an indescribable emotion surged in my heart;
• I flipped through the old photo album and saw my former self, and I was a little dazed, as if that person was already in another world;
• I accidentally passed by my alma mater and saw groups of students after school, and then I realized that I was so far away from that age...

We always miss the past and those "good" times. But have you ever thought about whether what you miss is really the past, or the self that can never go back?

1. Why do we always miss the past? Psychology tells you the answer

🔹 1.1 Nostalgia is the "beautification filter" of the brain

There is a concept in psychology called "Nostalgia Bias", which means: our brain will automatically beautify the memory of the past, making it look better than reality.

1. When you were a child, you thought the summer vacation was particularly long, but in fact, the time did not become shorter, but when you grow up, the pace of life has accelerated.
2. You always think that snacks from childhood are more delicious, but it may be just because you were more easily satisfied by simple happiness at that time.
3. You miss the carefree days of your school days, but you were also anxious about exams and confused about the future at that time.

🔹 1.2 Nostalgia is a desire for "certainty"

The process of growing up is a process of constantly facing the unknown.

When we were young, our world was small and our troubles were simple; when we grew up, our world became bigger and our troubles increased.

When reality makes people feel anxious and uneasy, we will instinctively recall the past, because the past is "certain" and the future is "unknown".

2. Do you really miss the past, or the self that can never go back?

🔹 2.1 What you miss is the "simpler" self

When you were a child, an ice cream and an episode of cartoons could make you happy all day. But what about now?

• You have eaten more expensive food, but it is difficult to get the satisfaction of eating spicy strips when you were a child;
• You have traveled to farther places, but always feel that something is missing;
• You have more freedom, but find yourself getting more and more tired.

🔹 2.2 What you miss is the "braver" self

When you were a child, you dared to speak out your dreams, dared to get up after falling on the playground, and dared to express your feelings in front of the person you like.

But when you grow up, you begin to become cautious, afraid of failure, afraid of being rejected, and afraid of not being recognized.

🔹 2.3 What you miss is the self who "believes in the future more"

When we were young, we always looked forward to growing up and felt that the future was full of infinite possibilities.

But when we grow up, we begin to fear the future, fear uncertainty, fear failure, and fear that everything is out of control.

3. Nostalgia is right, but don't let it become a bondage

Nostalgia is a beautiful emotion that allows us to remember those precious moments and find a touch of warmth when we are tired.

But if we keep immersing ourselves in the past, we will miss the beauty of the present.

4. Conclusion: Cherish the present and create beautiful memories for the future

Are you really missing the past, or the self that can never go back?

Perhaps, the answer is - you miss the simpler, braver, and more future-believing self.

But remember, you can still be that self.

The beauty of the past has become a memory; and now you are creating memories of the future.

💬 Interactive topic:

What do you miss most about the past? What do you think is the biggest change between you and the past? Welcome to share your story in the comment area! 😊